TheRedStranger

Could be the case. But if it happens again anywhere else just ring me a bell. I don't see what Members see when it comes to Permission issues. Member perspective is always appreciated. I gave you a point to your Reputation-count for your inconvenience. Thanks for helping keep the site bug free. ___ Also, we are considering adding 24+ extra hours to the rule we discussed after your recent comment on the RP Conduct Section. We will be looking at those for revision soon.

I moved it in the appropriate area (RP SectionBackstage Area/"Audtions" sub-section) but there should be no restrictions. I will check on it ASAP. See if you can access it directly there. If not - we have some kind of bug. Here is the link: Everyone test it out. Let's see if we have a permission problem.

I always liked discovering stuff such as this; it shows us that Sonic is creatively versitile. It's sad nowadays that there is such a creative monopoly because of a micromanaging, monocultural SEGA. I wish we had more comics, cartoons, and such again that took more diverse creative risks.

Okay, just like many of our What Would You Do Differently threads. Except! You have to keep in mind changes in game design as well. First question: How would portray the villains of this series and how would you design the boss fights around them?

That would be me. ;p

"So it's been a while guys, no time long see." It's been twenty-five bombastic, dynamic, and way-passed cool years since our beloved Blue Blur first blazed through Green Hill Zone in the Act One of his very own franchise. Over the years all of us have tagged along, playing his games, watching his shows, flipping through his comics. Nowadays we Scribes write, draw, and share, all inspired by our own personal journeys with the Blue-Blur. It's time for us all to look back today and celebrate how such a simple idea as a fast blue hedgehog can grow with us and so oddly impact our lives. 25 years ago today a simple game would start to snowball into a whole subculture, one of which we are all a part. Go ahead, wax nostalgic and get sentimental. Don't be afraid to sappy, cheesy, or ever teary-eyed. What's your chapter in this 25 year long story? What brought you here? Who have you befriend along the way? And what do you hope the future of this fandom has in store?

The Free Scribes Gazette Preface: Happy Birthday Blue! Yes indeedy my fellow friendly and fuzzy Mobians, today the Blue Blur himself turns 25! Ol’ man Sonic is officially old enough to be married, have a college degree, and have to file taxes. Huzzah! Ahw, but we don’t expect such actively affecting the franchise anytime soon thanks to an ageist SEGA! So disappointing too! Imagine how titillating Sonic Mortgage and Sonic IRS: Rise of The Audit would be! It’s the perfect reboot to a reboot that’s rebooting an already rebooted series! Stupid SEGA running all our creative fun with fascist mandates… Well anyways, jesting aside, feel free to reminisce here about your favorite days running alongside our beloved quilled quickster and his quirky cast of colorful pals! Well… (except you Shadow - you’re as whimsical as a door knob at the DMV.) I have no pity for you Angsty The Hedg-emo; no wonder you weren't invited to the birthday jamboree! Now get out of here needle-skull - I’m broadcastin’! Seriously folks, I want to wish you all a happy a 25 anniversary and to the franchise that brought us all together. From AoTSH and Archie fans, to those who love SatAM, STC, and Sonic X, we all have had our lives impacted in ways we never imagined because of Sonic. We would never had the opportunity to bond and create together if “Mister Needle Mouse” was never scribbled on a napkin way over 25 years ago, if Len Janson, Pat Aliee, and Ben Hurst never dreamed big about a small band of Freedom Fighters, and if folks like Nigel Kitching and Ian Flynn did not build on that flourishing dream in their own ways. In one weird way Sonic, this precious smack-talkin’, Act-passin’, and Egg-Crackin’ Hedgehog Freedom-Fighter, has I need gifted us a degree of freedom. I know it sounds as sappy a weeping willow, but Sonic gave us opportunity to imagine, aspire, befriend, unite, and create. Personally without him I would not have some of my best friends in the world. And, speaking for us all, I think our lives would be much bluer without the Blue Blur. Here’s to twenty five years more! And, a big announcement… As you probably know from a previous announcement, we were planning to have the site up and ready by July 4th originally. However, with a boom of early members and fine volunteers the site has seen significant progress and construction in only a single month's time. So consider this day the official opening of The Free Scribes of Mobius! And consider yourselves all fellow founding members of the site! And stay tuned for some really big updates and events! - To a better fandom; to a Free Mobius! The Prime Revolutionary Site Updates: Okay guys, so we are now broadcasting out across the cyberverse so we can reach out to more and more future Scribes and make our presence known. We just got our Deviant Art Page page setup and we are working on our Twitter and Tumblr page. Expect to see much more of us across the Internet as time goes by, including hotspots like YouTube, Reddit, and such. (Just don’t expect us shipping-it-up Tinder tough). Please Don’t forget subscribe, join, and support those ventures! You will find them all in our F-SoM Abroad section in the Metaforum. When it comes to mother-base RedAuthar and Wulfsbane have been busy troubleshooting for you early adopters. All together we have fixed multiple bugs such as the editing issue and currently we are working on the multi-quote conundrum. Recently, we added a new informative sidebar feature. As you can see, this will inform you of birthdays, special events, Status Updates, and recent responses to topics. Expect more tweaks to this feature such as a “newest topic” addition. If you check out the bottom of our homepage you can see we added an area dedicated to site metadata, statistics about posts, who and how many people are online, ect. In the near future, we plan to add a Shoutbox so you can all chat amongst yourselves real-time on the site conveniently on one open window. We have to wait on some updates to our software to get that done however. So in the meantime, if you want to live chat, you can do so here in a separate window here. As for the aesthetics of the site, we are working to expand the look and feel of the site with differing personal themes, icons, ranks, ect. We are also looking to revise the title and reputation system. Do note in the meantime you can add a signature to your posts by going to Edit Profile and adding a signature (please make sure they keep to site rules, are edifying to the site, and do not exceed 750px by 200px. Remember you can get involved by heading out to Rotor’s Workshop. Oh and if you have an idea for the format for the site or a comment on our rules please check out the Brain-Storm or the Alcove to engage in a bit of direct democracy. Come help us improve on both the design and aesthetic of the site! Newly Released Fanworks: We have had some of our members already post some of their work. Every month from here on out many of these will be mentioned in following Newsletters. Sequential and Visual Art: Welcome to the Machine AMV, by Prince Bytor: ByTor takes the Pink Floyd Classic “Welcome to the Machine” and combines it with SatAM to give an interesting, yet fitting song to the series. This has actually been entered into contests before Concept Sketches by F07E The aspiring artist formally known as F07E has set up a gallery of conceptual redesigns and reimaginings of official Sonic-lore. Help give him feedback as he formulates his own artistic style and take on the official aesthetic. Literature: Rise & Fall, by Toa-Arcan: One of the first fan-fictions ever reviewed by SoM! From the rusting hulk of a long dead Doomsday weapon in the chilling expanses of an artic waste, one of Eggman’s forgotten boots to life, a sentient machine bloodthirsty for revenge. Sisters, by Toa-Arcan: Fiona Fox plans to risk her life for her deep-seeded infatuation the villainous Scourge The Hedgehog. Recruiting for their daring mission, she is caught off guard unexpected former friend who hopes to change her ways. When Ian Met Sally, by GameMasterAnthony Welcome to a world without a fourth wall, where the real and the whimsical are next door neighbors. A part of G.M Anthony’s Heroes of Arcadia series, this story gumbos multiple elements from fictional franchises like our very own Sonic the Hedgehog and the nonfictional artisans who crafted the realms in which they regularly live. A comical delight of metafiction, replete with funny subtext for fans, this piece will more than make you smile. Freedom Dies with Me, By WarTraveler Based off of the Sonic-inspired fan game Freedom Planet, this is the first non-Sonic story ever posted on the site. A dark and more mature story, WarTraveler unveils the more shadowy implications of the sunny Freedom Planet universe…. Dreams of Imaginings, by MaverickIndigeo The first original story on the site. With plans to grow the series this could be something we all should keep an eye on. Targets 2.0, by Rick Tyger One of the adventurous tales that defined Tyger’s hotshot persona. Rick says this is a “Day in a Life” style story with the grit and tension of an 80’s action flick. One Bad Day, Prince Bytor. A stand alone multi-chapter work based in season 2 of SatAM. A bit darker take and more mature story that blurs the line between Mobian and animal as well as what humanity really means. A story of death, love, pride, and sacrifice. Reviews: Pirate Plunder Panic Review by Mr. Nemesis. Stroking his purring pet Cyndaquil whilst donning a smoking jacket and bubble-pipe, our good Mr Nemesis reviews the Sonic Universe Arc “Pirate Plunder Panic.” All the while he gives insights into the characters, plot, pace, and critiques the good, the flawed, and the ugly plot-holes and foibles of this Blaze-centric arc. Community Events & Projects: Roleplay Update! Keep an eye out for out for our first official Free Scribes Roleplay Game. We have a lot of ideas out there we want to share with you, who knows? You might to pick what story we play first. First Creative Contest - We will be holding our first Creative Contest Soon! Get ready Game Masters and Role-players this one will be all about you... Recruitment Drive! We are always welcoming anybody in the Sonic fandom and people interested in anthro art and pop culture. The Free Scribes of Mobius urges our members to bring their friends and family along with them. If you think you know someone who you think would fit in, send them a link and invite! Change in the fandom starts us all as individuals. Show your a true fan; work with us to make a better fandom person by person. We will all be deeply grateful. New Creative Writing Threads! Spagetti Thread: ByTor has posted the first part of a surreal Sonic scifi story based off the tone writers like Kirk Vonnegut and Philip K Dick. Members are encouraged to write the next part of the story following the previous parts of this intelligent mind screw. The next user is encouraged to do the same thing. It’s time to put your vermicelli in this surrealist inception of pasta. Sonic Ad-Libs: Let’s get crazy with MAD-Libs! A childhood treat for today. This time they’ve been whipped up Sonic style! Taken from the first Sonic the Hedgehog game manual users are encouraged to change several keywords to make something funny or clever. Improvathon (Writer’s version): So has anyone seen Who's Line is It Anyway? This kind of works like that except (sans Drew Carrey) and you are going to write out a piece of flash-fiction to fit a scene. I will give people 24-72 hours to write a piece of flash fiction (depending on the level of activity). The person who wins each turn gets likes, credit on the site, and possibly other things like formal reviews and interviews. The Official F-SoM Stories! Keep and eye out for these future releases in the Official Project Section! Tune in every Saturday morning to find a new episode in one of these upcoming series. We plan to alternate these throughout the week so there will always be something new on the site. Each one will receive a monthly update. Feedback is always appreciated! 1. War for Mobius: The Free Scribes Edition - An epic four years in the making, RedAuthar continues his FUS favorite from a perilous expanded Act-One and beyond. 2. The Princess and The Demon - As the guerilla war against Robotnik and his mechanized legions drags on with no end in sight, the burdens of leadership begin to take their toll on Princess Sally. When an all-too-routine sabotage mission encounters an unexpected complication, she finds herself alone in Robotropolis, where she undertakes a harrowing journey that brings her face-to-face with her most terrifying adversary, a cunning and ruthless being that threatens her very soul. 3; Sonic Mobius - The Scribe's nod and a wink to Sega of Europe, Segasonic, a dash of Archie, and Sonic Underground, this will not be your average Mobius. Both fresh and familiar will cross paths with a snarky and sharpy-tongued Sonic the Hedgehog inspired by the famous Fleetway comics. Against overwhelming odds, can one rebellious kid make a difference against a fledgling dictator? 4. Sonic: Edge of Tomorrow - Prepare for the day after Doomsday... [More details to come soon.]

"The servers are the 7 Chaos. Chaos is power... Power enriched by the heart. The controller is the one that unifies the Chaos." - Tikal. I personally think the aloof personality is utterly antithetical to Sonic and makes little sense. But if I were to reason my way out of some prior scenes and seasons of such a writer, I were forced to be the writer of a fourth season or a reboot I would simply rationalize his starting aloofness as a way to cover up some deep seeded emotional issues. Sonic has to deal with a lot of loss due to his displacement and a lot of negative emotions about his displacement. Since Sonic is a Chaos-user and Chaos is powered by "the heart" (a reference to our emotional aspects of being) then it doesn't take a neurosurgeon to guess what could happen if he did not maintain a sense of inner peace. We do not have to look beyond the Metarex Saga to figure that out. In what could have been an amazing Character arc we get one aborted glimpse of piece of Sonic lore rarely ever explored in the SoJ cannon, a Sonic gone sour... [A fan-dub example; because I am all about the fans. ;)]

[Details on EoT coming soon.]

What happens the Day after Doomsday? Sonic The Hedgehog: Edge of Tomorrow seeks to answer the above question in detail. Edge of Tomorrow is a direct episodic spin-off of Satam (Saturday Morning Sonic), the cult-classic Sonic cartoon that defined the distinct American/Western sonic canon. Satam was known for contributing the most substantial lore within the Sonic franchise and is still the inspiring foundation for most stories outside the rather sparse and vague Segasonic narrative such as Fleetway's Sonic The Comic, Archie's Sonic The Hedgehog, Sonic Underground, and fanworks like Sea3on and STC-O. Staying utterly faithful to its source material, EoT continues the morning after the infamous cliff-hanger episode Doomsday then meticulously explores and expands on the unique world of Mobius Satam founded. Though Doomsday abruptly capstoned Satam, EoT continues the narrative seamlessly with its own first episode Day After Doomsday. From here onward, EoT expands on the unique and nostalgic world of Mobius fans were first introduced two decades ago. There will be new arcane secrets to discover, old and new villains to face, and a narrative that has grown and matured with its old audience. Come see the old familiar Freedom Fighters in new exciting situations as they find their place in world much bigger than Robotnik, and much more complex than the safety of Knothole and smog of Mobotropolis. Crank your old CRTV back on, or come to the series fresh-faced as a young fan after a Satam You-tube/Netflix binge; this is not just a mere third season of Satam, this is a fully fleshed out episodic continuation with several seasons in the making.

Also have them deal with this "calling" in different ways and come to accept at differing times in light of their worldviews and lives. Make it rather dark too, have them consider the fatalistic implications of this ominous "Call."

Back on Topic: I will expect more AMV's from you Bytor. And from others. It's a fun art form to watch. It will be cool to see how you have improved your skills.

With all that said - I think you are just in the right place, Ish. If you want to take that moniker in full - we're here to hell and give feedback every step of the way. Also, I am making a place for Essays in the academic section soon. Also, you can post Poetry in our apt non-sonic section.

Understandable. Ans yes, you are an artist too by the way. Writing is an art. Art is a transformative process and there is always a need to redraft and re-sketch and reconceptualize. Feedback is vital for that process, so don't snuff out that light. This whole place is about finding those people you can trust to become a stronger artist.

After giving some people time to read it, I am bumping this up. I think it's totally worthy of some good conversation. Any thoughts?

Spiderman has fracking powers?! Should get this guy to work in the oil-industry. Watch the EPA and a bunch of liberal hippies try to ban him from urinating

It's refreshing, yes. I am glad to have F07E here for that. I have faith he can really push boundaries SEGA plays to safe about when it comes to style. (I notice he is working on his pencil pressure as well.) The Sally one is pretty interesting.

We are happy to have you here, Ishapar. We all hoped you'd come.

I read through this one with my reading circle . I and others will give you a review on this one soon.

Formal Review: Description/Style: The main catch of ToA Arcan’s Rise and Fall is the rather skillful use of rich and active prose. Many amateur writers rely on very passive and listless phrases such as “he was being,” cheap adjectives like “great” and “awesome,” and above all monotonous, over-used verbs like “walk, is, and says.” The writer generally dodges those amateur mistakes prose-wise. Early into the story the reader is treated with some rich flowing alliteration like “mouthless, muzzle.” In addition to such is a strong verb usage such as: “Chaos energies rippling,” “groaning servos,” and the gruesome head crushing of a specific character later in the story. All together such prose enriches the story with memorability and summons the imagination into action as the reader’s eyes scan the page. There are some gaffes however though, the first two paragraphs especially run stale and need a stronger stylistic start. The prose here is inhibited and unsure, focusing on straightforward exposition like “the mad human.” The writer seems to struggle with setting up scenes descriptively, leaving the reader questioning some vague elements rather than being smoothly transitioned through the progressing narrative. On top of that there are moments of lost momentum where character descriptions and their reactions grow rather sparse, which fast forwards the pacing and blurs the sense of visuals (sometimes almost breaking the logical flow of the story as well). A good example is the scene with Eggman and his Egg-bosses. There is very little prose dedicated to key us into the characters and they feel more like peripheral props which blur in the reader’s eyes. Also, readers, even though being Sonic fans, could be less familiar with some of these characters (Nephthys, Clove, and Conquering Storm) than the writer, leaving them confused over who they are or what they are like. Even with that said, the author is forfeiting his opportunity to describe these characters as he sees them. If the writer slows down to focus the descriptive narration and establishes the tone and setting of each scene, the story can grow drastically more immersive and evocative to its readership. The first step to that (rather than dumping in thick swaths of monologue from Metal) is to energize the beginning and thicken the prose when it comes to character descriptions and actions, settings, and the distinct emotional tone of each scene. Pacing/ General Narrative: Biggest problems when it comes to pacing show right up on the first page. The set up drags and then suddenly shifts in a bizarre, choppy fashion. There is no focus, especially when pertaining to a definite point of view. It uses personal, seemingly internal language when describing Eggman and a previous struggle, but then also reads like a dry wiki article about something called the “Final Egg” which can magically create a “Super-nova.” This overall first paragraph sounds like a jarring bounce between the personal 3rd Person Limited perspective and a more distant 3rd Person Omniscient. But on top of this change is the absurd logic behind what must be the most counter-productive war machine ever devised. This is quite the throbbing head-scratcher for a reader. Is Eggman trying to destroy the whole solar system, along with himself? These subsequent questions throw the pace off even more. The first paragraph is the second crucial part of a story; the first part is the quality of the very first sentence. Both must interplay and flow smoothly to subconsciously establish for a reader the main voice of the work (PoV), the tone, and descriptive content that initiates the narrative. So far we start with a zany cartoon like weapon of omnicidal mass destruction that is being factually described to us then possibly personally described through the internal perspective of Eggman. Such a setup suffers and in turn comes off as stylistically bipolar, being both encyclopedic and somewhat biographical. Only a handful of vested readers would make it to the second paragraph after this. Others would be tempted to browse elsewhere on the onset of such a story, all of them assuming the rest of the content would be equally this uneven. Yet for those who would make it this far, they could expect more of a dry historical recap followed by a stilted thrust into two years in the future from a position already describing the past with very little present movement except the quasi-dramatic reboot of a mysterious machine. Though this was given a whole prologue worth of set-up, this will be spoiled by the author within the fourth paragraph as Mecha Sonic. Such a reveal thieves the story of potential and distorts the tone of the story into a series of matter of fact anticlimaxes from here on through this starting chapter. Overall this prologue hamstrings the pacing and jolts the readers, disconnecting them with the story in the most crucial time to hook them into the narrative. It should probably be eliminated entirely. To make the introduction of Mecha Sonic more surprising and fearsome, I would strongly suggest starting the perspective from the eyes of someone disempowered and more sympathetic like Reginald Marshall. We see a brief attempt at such with him and his Eagle ally, as we see this horse Mobian struggle in the cold, pondering his precarious place in this war. Despite that, we are not told many names here. The pacing seems to hurling towards Mecha Sonic, character and scene-establishment be damned. What we get from such is the unsurprising return of Mecha-Sonic without much tension or concern for these newly introduced characters. Instead of connecting to these characters and sensing the dread of a rogue Mecha Sonic through their eyes. Their whole potential is gunned down as cannon-fodder from a Star-Wars referencing super-being that cannot be challenged and thus exterminates any sense of conflict. The tension grows even more lax and turgid as we move on. With all of Eggman’s Egg Bosses conveniently crammed in one proverbial egg basket, Mecha Sonic breezes through and scrambles them all sunny-side up. Sadly Metal forgets to add salt and spice to this scene and it ends up tasting rather bland to the readers. Metal’s monologues are bit too long on the broil, burning up any chances for conflict in the scene. We do get a satisfying bite of action in seeing Eggman counter with his cringe-worthy “cherry bomb” threat and the cathartic butchering of Orbile and Cubot. Ironically, in the end they served as comedic relief more at the threshold of the grave in the blackest of spades than they ever did in their oh so colorful lives. This was some wondrous schadenfreude to those who disdain these hit or miss characters from the official series. I personally read these lines aloud to the sound of applause from the readership as I began this review. This is sure to get a kudos from the large swaths of fans who find these characters as the scrappy-doos of Sonic lore. Though it might be a tad divisive, but it would be wise for the writer to keep it (mayhap ham it up even more.) Regrettably as the smoke clears and threats were beach-balls back and forth, a bad aftertaste sets up, quickly souring the scene. Mecha monologues, and monologues, and monologues. There is so much monotonous monologue that monologuing mecha-sonic monotonously monologues about how Eggman mindlessly monologues, revealing him to be the meandering megalomaniacal monologuer he truly is through the powers of hypocrisy, the nigh monotheistic weight of Mecha’s own monologing might. And yes, reading that sentence is just how you feel through that scene. There is a heavy focus on Mecha’s criticism and every other character just becomes living scenery for him to chew on as he hams up his invincibility in the lime-light. Because of this the scene ends up being gristly, bitter, and leaves the reader with more of a panging sense of ponderous indigestion than cathartic satiation. With a lack of tension and conflict Mecha Sonic saps the appetite for a possible subsequent chapter, even though there is an attempt of build up and foreshadowing. In light of everything aforementioned, one can diagnose that pacing is the second needed biggest fix to this story. Overall, the lack of time spent on the characters as persons contrasted with an over-focus on Mecha’s Sonic’s predictable, plodding, and pedantic counters and criticisms of everything Eggman is what poaches promise out of the pacing as whole. Though we have tit for tat tension in the tactical counters between Eggman and Mecha, the pay-off is identical to the last scene and the scene before that: Mecha Reingald like an egg salad, cracks the Eggbosses like a sledgehammer to an eggshell, and then casually unyokes the Eggman himself. He serves up all potential antagonists in an omelet through this story with the ease and grace of Chef Ramsey hyped on Adderall. He wins no contest - flawless, boring victory. To make this story truly worth taking a second bite out of, this perfect pattern has to be scraped out of the pan. A good start would be to focus on the main character and avoid needless exposition and streamline the start into one contiguous scene. Nixing the two year wait would add urgency. Having Mecha burst out and recall/and compile the prior information whilst struggling through a conflict would lead to a more moving beginning to hook the readers. There is a major lack of urgency and the hair-raising vulnerability such evokes. Characters: Though Eggman might be hardboiled and the rest of the cast undercooked, Mecha is surely the most rotten ovoid of the bunch. Reingald has the powerful potential to be a sympathetic character with a uniquely, vast standpoint about the world around him. From the vulnerable sticking of his cybernetic eye in the cold, to the familiar and casual dialogue with his colleagues, to his own doubts that he’s on the right side of a war, Reingald is the perfect character to hook a reader into a story. His emotions and perspective eliminate any need of this work’s starting encyclopedic exposition. His perspective is both informative and retains a sympathetic vulnerability. The Mobian is looking up at two clashing forces like mountains in the distance, he can see them clearly from where he’s at and yet knows how massive they are. One quake, one quaint rumble the wrong way from either side, or an avalanche will sweep right over his head. We start with him guarding the ruinous, rusting hulk of a frozen death machine in a global war, whilst on a side that could easily torture or annihilate him if he strutted one hoof out of line whilst fighting a hostile force that deems him complicit to villainy. This is all intriguing! This is all so relatable! This is how the first paragraph should have started; it’s both informative and empathetic! Too bad he dies right out of the gate, cast off by the critical killjoy that is Mecha Sonic… With this cold-blooded butchery comes the death of most of this stories narrative promise. We are given this perspective character only to have the focus forced back on our sterile villain protagonist. Everyone else briefly mentioned in this scene (such as Rich the Eagle) is denigrated to a measly piece of scenery for this melodramatic mechanization to chew upon. His callous and villainous nature is as subtle as a neon sign, to the point he is neither nuanced nor even relatable. What you see with Mecha is what you get, a nagging supremacist with an arbitrary chip on his shoulder. Despite his conceited demurs and shallow sociopathy, there is not much to this character. He’s simply a negativized carbon copy of Omega from Sonic Heroes who can’t stand that he was discarded. Unlike Omega though who reaches out to others and is capable of bonding and growth, Mecha proves himself to be cold as the arctic waste surrounding him as he tosses Reingald to his death. He never offers Reingald a chance to join him; he seemingly does not need anyone after all. And yet paradoxically, he’s angry at being discarded by others. This assumes a want to be needed, and subsequently a want for others. Instead of subtly demonstrating such like with Omega in his official introduction, this version of Mecha proves himself to only be hell bent on being a living crucible in which to sauté the inferior Eggman and his measly empire. With another swing and a miss, Mecha strikes out when he seems to disregard any relation to whoever was adjacent to him whilst in stasis. He has no interest as to what happened to his “little brother.” Such oddly specific familial language connotes some sense of intimacy, yet none of this is ever demonstrated in the character throughout the whole chapter. There seems to be a phantom of a stronger and more unique motivation unrealized in this introduction of the character. Making him grieve over the loss of his “brother” would make him less of a soulless, dispassionate machine. As the story progresses to the confrontation with Eggman, Mecha’s pedanticism makes him more and more obnoxious to the reader. There are moments he seems to be more of nauseating know-it-all nitpicker than a personable villain. Being more preachy than a priest on Sunday, he dismantles Eggman’s get up and steal the scene yet again. Though his killing of Orbile and Cubot can be quite enjoyable, it does not make him more likeable. It has the same effect as them dying in an accident, Mecha just kills them because he is a cruel impersonal force of sociopathic angst. He has no actual beef with those robots other than their inferiority; he just kills them the way he needlessly killed Reingald. Why he spares an equally inferior Thunderbolt “not to make a mess” makes less sense. To Mecha the two machines and Thunderbolt alike have proven themselves to be as equally as useless. The slap-down and death threats to this tiny female chinchilla are also deeply cringe-worthy. Mecha by now is surely hated by the reader, but there is little investment for the reader to stick around to hope he gets justice. He so far is the protagonist character and has shown no weakness, this runs the risk of having the reader leave out of frustration. A mix of women beater, cold blooded killer, and Villain Sue is enough to make many readers prematurely part or at least feel that the character incredulously defeated in a future far-coming pay-off. In addition to such, there follows the issue that Metal will continue to overshadow the characters and world around them, leaving the reader even more divested. Just in this scene with Eggman alone, Thunderbolt, Nephthys, Clove, Conquering Storm, and Eggman, are blurred and muted to make way for Mecha and his long-winded lectures on how stupid Eggman and his plans are. They exist only as obstacles of Mecha Sonic’s incessant preaching about how he became so amazing in comparison to all of Eggman’s other minions and creations. If things can continue in this narrative direction, the reader has much more character defacing to dread. In comparison to Mecha, readers can only expect official characters to become uncharacteristically flimsy both in body and mind in comparison to this shining Mecha star which they know orbit. The forming of the Mettalix is the ensuing sterilization of much more characters and story elements to come. Long live king Mecha Sonic; rest in peace Rise and Fall one has supplanted the other. Grammar Details: In comparison to a myriad of other original Sonic works, the writer has really stood out above many when it comes to grammatical gaffes. There are a handful of caps-lock problems and some formatting issues. Many times words are needlessly bolded to have a bellowing look (rather than telling us through prose). Italics are used generally to serve such a purpose as they are more subtle and less distracting to process of reading the lines of text. What really makes this confusing though is how it is inconsistently traded off between characters, making it initially confusing on who is talking (this is mainly seen at the start of the Eggman and Mecha scene). Analysis: Reading in between the lines for Rise and Fall is a bit underwhelming. Exegeting the subtext is effortless simply because of how blatant it can actually be. Mecha, the story’s nigh literal show-stealer, is like a sheet of titanium and so is his story. He’s impenetrable, but he’s not very thick and thus his whole narrative is rather flimsy so far. Thematically Rise and Fall flirts with some deep thoughts but struggles with the character focus to actually convey them. Reingald’s perspectives on the war and his personal situation as a cyborg bound to a power structure he doubts had a lot of thematic possibility, but sadly it was aborted to make way for Mecha’s sophistic narrative. Mecha’s story is one of thematic deprivation, a black hole for any deep meaning to the story. It takes away more than it gives, though it could have been (and still can be) so much more. For example, Mecha supposedly had a fallen “little brother” yet there is no sense of loss or any filial themes explored. Sentience was also gifted on Mecha (though is not shown to us; the reader is merely told and never given the chance to experience the momentous event.) Mecha also has a deep sense of wanting to belong and feel wrongfully ostracized and forgotten. The sad thing about this character is that he is too untouchable, removing any chance for him to grow existentially. He is never given the opportunity of being unsure or wrong, everything conveniently works for him. Every point he has can be backed. There is no avenue in which he can actually satiate that sense of want, nor does the writer allow his needs as a new sentience to ever be really regarded. Mecha ironically should be the most vulnerable, soul searching character in this story. He is like a child new to the world, born into war and built for war. His first moment of sentience is next to the empty womb of his seemingly dead “brother.” There is so much to work with here. There is so much to play off with Reingald as well, the want to be needed and the need to be wanted is something Reingald obviously feels as well as a member of Eggman’s army (even to the point of being a partner in a fight he does not fully believe in). Instead we have Reingald dead in a choppy prologue and Mecha vanquishing his duplicitous father figure with unquestioning ease. There is nothing meaningfully gained in the story, there is nothing meaningfully given. All the answers are there (hack into the Eggboss’s cybernetics, kill the inferior machines, ect), but none of these answers really mean anything. The personality of Mecha is a static type not an actual dynamic character and therefor no meaning can arise from his personal story (though such easily could be easily remedy in a second draft). For the character to truly grow, there must be aspiration and flaws to be approved upon. If Mecha ceased being a pedantic in-universe editor for official elements and was given a true sense of original conflict and empathic connection to the world around him, he could start to thrive and so would this story. Overall, Rise and Fall is a brave attempt at a first draft, posted by a brave writer who dared to be one of the very first to publish on this site. Hopefully what had been said here will be taken into a account from here onward. If so, this story will have much more promise

My Art Historh Professor lived their for 15 years. She has some awesome stories. She also lived in New Zealand and told me how she would have to wait hours to drive her kid to school as sheep crossed the gravel roads. You should go to Florida; its beautiful and I really think you would enjoy it for a very personal reason. I recommend actually enjoying the beaches on the Alabama side as the hotels and such are cheaper. You can simply drive pass the border for everything else more important.

Okay. Let's break this trope down and build back up. First would be to give a reason more than "fate" as to why they are "chosen." It should also not be taken as an elitist summoning. I would somehow make ironic like when Saul was chosen to be an apostle in the Bible.

Excellent thread. Vibrant discussion. You just got featured.

Working well? ____ We have been having reports lately of people being unable to edit and having no edit options. Currently I and the mods do, yet members mysteriously do not. We are trying to remedy this issue and want to know the extent of it. Tell me, do all you guys have no ability to edit?

Hm. Thanks for pointing that out. I will see what I can do. Go bring this issue up in the Workshop area in the Metaforum. We will see if this problem is ubiquitous.